birth stories

sometimes they make me sad.

a couple friends have blogged recently about the births of their older kids, & while i love reading the stories, they make me kind of wistful.

we had to have a c-section with the boys. they let me labor until i was 5 or 6 cm, & then my blood pressure skyrocketed & we needed a c-sec NOW. obviously, when your kids' health is at stake, you don't have a lot of options. i don't regret that surgery one bit-- it brought us our beautiful sons, safe & sound. but bc of the internal incision, my odds of success with a vaginal birth now are optimistically around 50%. i blogged about this some time ago, when N & i decided that those weren't good enough odds for us, & we were opting for a repeat c-section. i stand by that decision, i really do. after talking with my OB (who is generally fairly anti-c-section), we feel like it's the safest option for 3 & for me. but....

hearing the stories of reaching down to feel the baby's head, or even just HOLDING the baby right after birth, make me long for that kind of delivery. you don't get to hold your baby after a c-section. & while i don't mind at all that N gets to be the first to hold our kids, it hurts that i can't hold them right away, too.

in the long run of course, none of this matters. i don't love my boys any less for having them delivered surgically, & it won't change my feelings for 3 or the relationships i have with my kids. it's just the loss of a single moment in their lives & in mine, but it's a moment i'll never get to experience, & that makes me kind of sad.

Our Boys

Valentin Nolan, 4lb 15oz, 17 inches, 10:37am, March 19, 2009, (Val)

Conrad Michael, 5lbs 2oz, 18 3/4 inches, 10:39am, March 19, 200, (Con)

Val holding N's thumb and working his paci.

Both guys are doing great-- Con went on room air last night at midnight & has been doing amazing on it since. (Very few episodes of apnea & fewer brady's-- most self-recovering.) He ripped out his feeding tube so many times they switched it to his nose (he's still ripping it out, but isn't ready to go off it yet, so he's stuck for a while.) Val is on 1liter of oxygen still, but at 21% (very low) but he's working a little harder to breathe, so we don't want to rush him. He's also having some bloody nose/snot issues. The bloody noses are likely bc his nasal cannula is drying, so they added a humidifier this afternoon & he seems to be much more comfy now. The snot he's still working out from the c-sec (amniotic fluid doesn't get squeezed out of their lungs during a c-sec like it would in a normal birth). All their chest x-rays are clear so far. Their arms are splinted to keep their IV's in & secure.

They're both doing really well on their feedings so far, so if they keep it up (no major spitting up & make sure they're digesting everything) they'll be weaned off their IV's at 3am tonight. (fingers crossed! Altho they will leave a track line in just in case.) Their issoletes are still keeping them warm. They need to be able to maintain their body temps at 27deg Celsius before they can try a big boy crib, & right now Val's is around 30 & Con's is set at 31.5. Tomorrow they think we might be able to put them to breast for the first time. (They won't get much, if anything, but it's good practice for them & me.)

They each have a "dimple" at the base of their spines (Con's is slightly larger) & they're having u/s on Monday to make sure the dimples are merely that-- the docs want to make sure the skin is closed over them & that their spinal cords aren't affected. It's likely just a precaution, but we want to be sure.

I know there's more, but that's the basic NICU update. I'm a little nervous that they're progressing so quickly, but thrilled at the same time. We just want to be sure they move at their own paces.

& on their names: N picked their first names out of 2 of his fav books, "Nolan" is after their daddy, & "Michael" is after both grampa's. (& for those of you wondering-- Valentin is pronounced: "Val-en-teen"). Sorry to keep you all in suspense, but I couldn't resist teasing you guys a bit longer! :)

Birth Story

Quickie update: the boys are both ok, & I'm sore, but doing ok as well. We're spending every waking minute we can in the NICU or pumping for the guys, so I will be in & out very erratically, but wanted to update while I have a sec (am waiting on a nurse. my blood pressure has been really crazy, so I promised I'd wait in my room this time until 5:30 so they can get a BP measurement before we go back to see the guys.)


Birth Story in brief: My water broke (& it was VERY obvious what it was! no doubts about peeing) at 4:35 am on Thursday morning. We got to L&D, called our OB (who got up & came in ASAP) & got a quick check on the guys. They were fine, but my blood pressure was through the roof. They let me labor until I was 5-6 cm dilated, then Baby B turned back down transverse & my rising BP made a c-sec neccessary ASAP. A half hour later, we were in the delivery OR, & baby A was born at 10:37 am, March 19, 2009, followed 2 minutes later by his brother. Both went straight to the NICU, & have been there ever since, learning how to breathe, eat & stay warm on their own. For now, I just wanted to let you all know we're doing ok-- a detailed update on the dudes will have to wait for antoher installment, since the nurse just left & we're going to kangaroo the kids.





Both boys have completely changed our lives-- they are the most perfect people I've ever seen, & the love I feel for them is beyond descpription. We're being very selfish with our time-- the guys dictate our schedule each day. N & I are doing everything we can to help them along, which at this point is offering kangaroo care as often as we can, & pumping like my life depends on it. Please keep the prayers coming! It's still early yet, & the docs are predicting around 4 weeks in the NICU.



N, me, & our beautiful boys. (baby A is on left, baby B is on right. oh, their names? stay tuned!)