crawling babies, shaking kitties & cheating tigers

my life is uneventful lately. except conrad finally doing some scooting! it's like an inch-worm-- he tucks up his butt, then stretches with his arms. very cute :) i'm sure he'll be fully mobile soon, & then i'll be in trouble. & digger keeps having seizures. they don't seem to bother him, but they sure freak me out & i'm thinking he might need a vet trip soon. the CH (cerebellar hypoplaysia. it's like kitty cerebral palsy) isn't degenerative, so i doubt it's related, but the escalating frequency has me a little worried. & the birds need to go in for a nail trim, since miss scout is prone to foot problems as a legacy of her early months in her prior home.

in discussing tiger's infidelity recently with N, i've found out all kinds of things i didn't really want to know about people we know. it amazes me how many people cheat. especially people i like & respect(ed), who seem to have really happy families. cheating is pretty endemic is N's profession, as it was in the legal field (or at least, in the big firm world. i can't speak for other lawyers.) but it was an atmosphere i hated. it always made me feel like i was a party to their lying, especially when i knew their wives. (i know women cheat too, but if the women i knew were cheating, they were much more discreet about it.)
& i just don't buy the "sex addicition" excuse. bullsh*t. the average man doesn't get to use that excuse, so why is it valid for the rich & famous? & i think the reasons for cheating are probably as varied as the reasons for getting married. some are probably better than others, but is there ever a "good" reason to cheat? i doubt it. why then, why do people cheat? it's a debate N & i have been having for awhile now... what do you all think?

poop

today has been all about poooooooop.

apricots do not agree with the valinator. nuff said.

some recent pics, just for fun...

the cats have decided that under the tree is their new fav hidey hole. which, od course, only makes it all the more attractive a locale for the dudes. sigh.... here's rafter (aka chunk) being cozy & cute.

finger painting with edible finger paints (i used gerber yogurt with food coloring, but yu could also use pudding.) the dudes LOVED this-- kept them occupied for almost a half hour, which is pretty much unheard of. the con man especialy got into it, & COVERED his plate, then ripped it off his tray & covered the back, all while yelling joyfully. val very methodically covered every inch he could reach & then carefully smeared it all together, taking it all very seriously.

& i just love this picture. (yes, they're wearing hoodies over their jammies. it was cold!!)

family drama (on both sides)

i forgot to RSVP to N's cousin's baby shower. which was today. crap. obviously i wasn't going, but i did mean to call. it's for one of the cousins who aren't very nice to us (in fact, are pretty damn rude) & who are openly hostile to N's parents. & its the daughter of N's most evil aunt. she has nothing nice to say about us or our kids, & i can take the sh*t about me, but not about my sons. & bc i don't want to start a family war, i just avoid them at all costs. although i might have just caused more problems by spacing on the whole shower thing since now they actually have a reason to dislike me. crap. i guess i'll send a belated gift & apology?
i hate family politics.
why can't N just have a normal family? i mean, mine isn't perfect, (see below), but for the most part, we all get along & if there's a problem it's addressed, not left to fester for 20 yrs before exploding in an huge fight in which unforgiveable things are said.

in other crappy family news, my brother is supposed to come home next week. he lives in IL where he is "finishing school" with his evil ex(?) girlfriend, & NEVER comes home, & only speaks to my folks when he needs something (usually $). i love my brother, but i hate how he treats our family. the last time he came home was when the boys were in the NICU, & he had the flu. his arrival caused a big fight between my mom & me, bc she didn't understand why i wouldn't let him in to see the boys. it still pisses me off, to be honest, but i'm trying to accept my mom's blind spot when it comes to her son. (& honestly, i understand better now having sons of my own, but still...)
anyways, R (the brother) has a knack for ruining holidays. for example-- when i was in college he got tanked on christmas eve, came home & puked all over everyone's christmas presents, then tried to tell us over the reek of booze-vomit that it was from "bad cupcakes". sigh.... only my mom bought that one. 2 yrs ago, he promised to come home, making my mom all excited (bc she always believes him) & then cancelled at the last minute to attend his girlfriend's family christmas instead (also in MI) where he again proceeded to booze it, although he did stop by for about 15 mins. to drop off their dogs for my folks to watch. & then last year, he again promised to come & then bailed at the last minute (literally on christmas morning) which crushed my mom & ruined everyone's day.
without going in to details, N's younger sister also pulls similar sh*t every holiday, so after last year's fiasco, we announced that we would be having all holidays at our house & if any one would like to come, they could, but we were going nowhere & waiting on no one.

R was supposed to come home 2 weeks ago, but (as always) cancelled at the last minute (10am of the morning he was supposed to arrive) claiming car trouble. he says he took his truck to the dealer & asks my folks to send $250 to cover costs. my dad transfers the money & 2 weeks later (yesterday) confides in me that R still hasn't pulled it out of his account. what dealership is going to let a check sit for 2 weeks? sigh....

i love my brother, & so does everyone who meets him. he's funny & just generally charming & really fun to be around. he is also completely unreliable, a habitual liar, & incredible selfish. please understand-- i don't want any one bashing my brother or my family. i worry about R & the effect his behavior has my mom & on his own life, but you can't help those who don't want to be helped, & i just had to vent somewhere.

the christmas hunt

i've been chipping away at my christmas shopping, i got the big ticket items on black friday, & have been doing bits & pieces since. this afternoon my mom is watching the dudes so my dad & i can hit the local shadow art fair. (http://www.shadowartfair.com/) it's a really funky local crafts fair held my my fav brewery in charming depot town. (depot town is where the old train depot was. & still is, but it's no longer functional. now, it's just the name for a few blocks in ypsi that's home to almost al my fav local things.) kind of a bummer to be hitting the brewery, since my dad's on the wagon & i'm preggo, but i'm thinking i can pick up some cool unique gifties. or hoping, anyways.
i love christmas shopping. i love hunting for gifts, i love the wrapping, i even love the crowds. i know i'm nuts, i'm just a holiday junkie & i'm so excited i can do my own shopping this year, after having to rely on poor N last year, since i was couch-bound.
& i really have nothing more exciting to say today. it's been a peaceful morning. happy saturday kids!

i should be napping right now. (a confession)

i was up with val from midnight til around 230 this morning & then we all got up at 5, bc, well, its just one of those days. the boys lasted until almost 9 & then went down for a nap, but i was so hungry i had to eat rather than sleep. & i could lay down now & try to snooze til they wake up, but instead i'm here & planning on taking the dudes to ikea with my mom when they wake up. i think we need to get out more while we still can (the threat of bedrest if hanging over me) & i think as long as i allow no strangers to touch them & am militant with the hand sanitizer, we should be safe. (fingers crossed.)

i posted something on another blog & its been making me feel incredibly guilty, so i feel compelled to explain myself. here's my confession: i don't like being pregnant. i know, i'm awful. we tried so hard to get (& stay) pg, & fought for every day past 26 weeks with our boys, & i should be grateful & love every minute of this. well, i am grateful, but i am SO not loving every minute of this. i didn't even love being pg with my dudes (who were planned). i loved the miracle of them, the knowledge that i was their source of life & comfort & nourishment for so long. i loved that i got to know them before they were born, but the day to day of pregnancy sucks for me. i hate being sick, i hate being tired, i hate the awkwardness, the giant clumsy body, the aching joints. i hate that my body is no longer my own.

don't get me wrong, all those complaints are sacrifices i'll gladly make for a healthy child, & i know i'll miss the ability to bear more children when N & i are finally done growing our family (hypocritcal, isn't it?) i love the end result of pg & i love that i can, after out losses & struggles, carry & grow our children myself, but i still don't like beign pregnant. it's kind of like that obnoxious sibling, who you love but don't like. well, that's how i feel about pregnancy-- i love it, but i don't like it.

Fun with Pictures: Twins vs. Singleton, Part I

13 weeks with the twins

13 weeks with a singleton (thanks amanda for the shirt!)

8 weeks with twins (& rafter, aka chunk the cat clawing my leg)

8 weeks with a singleton (with scouty chewing on my fingers, & yes, that's a baby bump, i'm not that plump normally!) there are no pics between weeks 8 & 13 with this pg, bc i am lame. i'll try to document better in the future, but i was flaky with pics for the twins too... regardless, i thought i few comparison shots throughout would be fun (for me at least!)

i keep having "girl" dreams....

twice now (the only times i've dreamt of this baby) it has been a girl. ok, so once it was a girl who turned into a ladybug, but a ladybug is still a "lady" right? hmmmm......

i have mixed feelings about whether a girl or boy would be "better". (yeah, i know the matter is already decided & i don't get a say, but that doesn't stop one from thinking does it?) in some ways, i'd love a girl. just bc it would be cool to have the experience of raising both, & bc i'd love to see N with a little girl, & i think it would be fun to have a daughter (other than the teenage years. but i doubt that's fun for either sex.) but i also love the sound of "my boys". & they'll be so close in age, maybe it would be better if they were all dudes. or maybe being close in age would help a girl feel less the odd man (or girl) out. & there really is something about a mom & sons that i just can't explain fully... i don't know that i'd adore a daughter in the same way i adore my little boys. not that i'd love a daughter any less, but i know the tricks of the trade, so to speak, being a girl myself. moms with boys, do you know what i'm saying here? plus, we already have all the boy clothes, lol!

eh, who am i kidding-- i'll be excited no matter what we're having. but it is fun to ponder the possibilities...

Mixed News

i don't really feel like dwelling on this, but i feel like it warrants a post, so here goes:

we had an appt with our MFM doc yesterday & while baby is just fine, he had some less than stellar news for me. apparently the risk of having another preterm baby is way higher than i thought. i was under the illusion that it was the fact i had twins that was the problem last time, but apparently it's just me. with all the surgeries i had on my cervix (years & years ago, i was maybe 21 at the time) & the fact that they can't attribute the premature rupture with the dudes to the pre-e (i wasn't truly full-blown pre-eclamptic "she could have a stroke at any minute" until AFTER delivery. apparently that's really unusual, & pretty much means that my water breaking early likely had nothing to do with my rising blood pressure.) so the surgeries, the preterm labor at 26 weeks, the shrinking cervix & the premature rupture at 33 weeks all means that it's really unlikely we'll make our due date with this one. i really hate when docs give you news like that. i know its their job & all, & just don't like hearing it. i am to think of my due date as a"goal", which is the language they started using when it became clear we wouldn't make it to term with the guys. sigh.... so i'm on prometrium for the duration of the pg in an effort to prevent early contrax & will have weekly u/s starting at 16 weeks to check on my cervix. yay.

don't get me wrong, i'm glad they're taking so many precautions, i just refuse to assume that it is a foregone conclusion that we can't make it to term. i am going to asume everything is fine & that we WILL make 37 weeks. sure, there are lots of reasons we MAY not get there, but not a single reason we CAN'T get there. so we'll just keep our fingers crossed & hope for the best.

i have to say tho, had this been a planned baby, we would have consulted with our docs prior to trying & i think after recieving this news, we might not have tried. i'm thrilled we're having #3, & am going to proceed as tho everything will be fine (bc it WILL), but we know what could have happened with the boys & we know how lucky we were to get to 33 weeks. i just have to assume this kid is here for a reason, so onward we go!

in happy news, i have lots of thanksgiving prep to do today. woohoo! i'm super excited about this cheese ball i'm making... i love cheese! :)

orka-ville, here i come!

from my loving husband this morning: "wow, you're really looking pregnant!" which is a true statement, so i don't mind. it's better than being in the no-man's land of "is she pg, or is she fat?"

what IS kind of depressing is that i think i'm as big with this singleton as i was with the dudes at the same point. (eventually i'll post comparison pics, i promise!) i know i was huge with the boys bc there were 2, & i know you're usually bigger with a subsequent pg, but i somehow had convinced myself that i wouldn't be so big this time since i only have one baking. alas, that seems not to be the case.

Sleepy Saturday Musings

the boys are both fighting the naps right now, but quietly, so i know they'll give in sooner or later. :) conrad is becoming a thumbsucker, & is going to town on his thumb, which is very cute. doesn't like a paci, but that thumb--ooo boy!

i am very tired (surprise, surprise) & hunting for thanksgiving recipes for N. poor guy, my family usually does traditional armenian food for holidays, & bc he works every holiday we usually celebrate holidays here (with my fam). so he misses out on the american staples like candied yams, etc. so this thanksgiving, since its at our house, i'm making him his candied yams with marshmallows (sounds yucky to me, but he loves it!) & cranberry sauce. & we're doing a real turkey, not just a breast with some other less-traditional protein like usual. i figure its time we start some of our own traditions, so we're mixing the armenian & american this year, & luckily my folks are all excited about it, mostly bc my dad loves to cook & my mom just loves a party, but its working out without offending anyone & N will get some of his holdiay treats.

i had a diet coke today, which i now feel all guilty for, since i wouldn't let caffiene cross my lips when i was pg with the guys. i'm just SO tired, i really needed the caffiene. & i even poured half of it down the drain, i just had to kill the tired headache i had going or i wasn't sure i'd make it thru the day.

monday & tuesday we have appts to check on the new peanut. mon with my OB, & tues is a consult with our mfm (high risk doc) & the NT scan, 1st tri tests etc. & if all is well, i think we'll be breaking the news. i'm showing enough that my family will guess on sight, & since the holidays are coming, i can't really hide from everyone (nor do i want to!) i'll post when the news is officially out, but for now it's still all secret squirrel.

& i will be going to see new moon tomorrow with a bud. doesn't matter that i'm not into pattinson & cast, etc. something about that series is just addictive & i have to see it. we can all use a little cheap escapism in our lives, right?

val has given in to the nap, & con man is doing some serious wiggles, which usually means he'll be out shortly. it's like he has to squeeze out every last ounce of energy before he can crash... funny little boy. :)

he does love me!

N showed up, unannounced & unasked, at 430 yesterday. the man took 2 hours off work for no reason other than he thought i sounded like i needed help.

& i did. i love that man.

Not in the mood for well-meaning advice.

the boys have been up off & on since 1am. conrad has been up for good since around 430, although i finally got val back to sleep around 6. sigh.... in good news, the con man is in a fabuous mood. mom, however, is not. mostly bc i am somewhat unfairly blaming N for my lack of sleep. he has been gone hunting (leaves at 4am home at 8pm) since saturday & is now back at work (gone 5am to 7pm) until sunday, when he made plans that require me to spend yet another day home alone with the guys WITHOUT ASKING ME. granted, he is just driving a processed deer up to his dad's buddy, it's not like he's having tons of fun, but it would have been nice to be consulted. & he acted all hurt when i scoffed at the idea of taking the boys & driving up there with him, as though sitting in a car for 4 hours with fussy babies, while pregnant & carsick would be some kind of treat. seriously, i wonder sometimes where his brain is. so my dad is riding with him (i guess N really wanted company) & i will be home with the babies. like always.
so much for our little talk about mom needing a day out once in a while.

(before anyone starts bashing my husband or talking about how much better i'll feel with sleep, just stop. all i really have to do is tell N i need some time to myself & we'll find a way to make it happen next week sometime. & babies will have a bad night once in a while-- it happens. but this is my blog & i'm allowed to complain about how tired i am & how annoying men can be. & i am prefectly aware of how b*tchy i sound. again, my blog-- i'm allowed.)

Adventures in Doggieland

So yesterday on the way to meijers i saw a stray dog, running down the road. i'm a sucker when it comes to critters, but it looks like a well-kept dog, so i tell myself it's a lose pet, & i'll stop on the way back if it's still there. on the way home, dog is still there, by now running down the road & acting scared. so i stop, & as soon as the dog sees my car stop, she runs over & jumps into the open door like she's never been happier to see a friendly human.

dog turns out to be a very sweet, beautiful (slightly pudgy) black lab with no collar. I take her home (after a stop to grab a leash & collar, since i can't have a strange loose dog in the house with babies & cats & birds), & she makes herself right at home, helps herself to some cat food & makes friends with digger the kitty. by now the boys are up from their naps & totally entranced with the doggie. (they LOVE animals. the kitties are their favorite toys & conrad loves to watch the birds). i start calling around to see if anyone has reported a lost dog & looking for a no-kill shelter that will take her. the process takes several hours, & during that time, we discover that the dog (now being called "rosie") is perfectly trained & wonderful with both babies & cats.

i see myself & my mom sinking fast, & i know that we just can't add another animal to the mix right now. (& here comes the part where i jusitfy why i couldn't keep her.) we have zero yard, & no fence, & with 2 babies & a 3rd on the way, i barely have time to give the critters we have now the attention they need, let alone a dog who needs walks & run time. we firmly believe that when you adopt a critter, it is for life & with full knowledge of the needs, & i just can't meet the needs of a busy young lab, no matter how perfect she is. sigh.... i still feel sad about it.

anyways, on my 3rd call to the humane society, they tell me a man has just come in & reported a lost lab, but can find none of his info. the nice lady ("nancy") asks why i don't just bring her in to the shelter, & i say she's too nice a dog to be put down in 2 weeks when no one adopts her. at this point, nancy says "oh!" like she's had a revelation, & tells me that bc they are a private shelter, they don't euthanize any animal unlesss the animal is dangerous or terminally ill & in discomfort. healthy, friendly critters are kept & fostered until they find a home. i honestly could have kissed her at that point. i really felt responsible for rosie the dog & was beyond thrilled to find a good place for her. so rosie & i went & checked out the shelter, which was awesome, as far as shelters go. the doggie rooms had sofas, & toys & outdoor runs, it was like a very nice doggie condo. plus, they publish "found dog" reports on line & in the paper, so if some one is looking for her, she has a good chance to be found, & if not, she has a great chance of finding a good forever home.

& to further assuage my guilt, i made a donation to the humane society before i left. so in a few days, i'll call & see if she's been "found" & make sure she's going up for adoption. i know i kind of drive N nuts when i do stuff like this, but he knew that i stop for strays when he married me! :)

i have...

nothing to say lately. i am just so darn tired, it's like i'm brain dead. & before anyone says "wait til the boys sleep thru the night" it's not them-- they're back on schedule & sleeping fine at night, & even napping during the day. it's got to be the pregnancy. it's just kicking the snot out of me. no matter how early i go to bed, i'm exhausted by noon. sigh....