ok, i know the ticker says 1, but thats bc i don't really count today or the day of, so there's only one WHOLE day left, even tho we aren't technically having the baby until tuesday.
either way, i'm excited! altho also kind of dreading the surgery & recovery... c-sections suck. (of course its worth it to have a healthy baby, but they still suck!)
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
baby announcement "rules"
(great idea karinanne!)
so, when (& if) you all get a "baby is here" text from me/N, please keep any & all gender/name info to yourselves, so my folks & us can have time to spread the news to family without everyone finding out on fb. once you all see a fb announcement go up, it's a free-for-all, & you can say whatever you want. deal? simple congrats are fine, btw, just no details please! :)
so, when (& if) you all get a "baby is here" text from me/N, please keep any & all gender/name info to yourselves, so my folks & us can have time to spread the news to family without everyone finding out on fb. once you all see a fb announcement go up, it's a free-for-all, & you can say whatever you want. deal? simple congrats are fine, btw, just no details please! :)
5am
& up all by my lonesome.
i *should* be taking advantage of my last weekend to sleep in, since N is home to get up with the boys but sleep is elusive this morning soi gave up at 5 & just got up.
for those interested: contrax continue so far this morning, but am hoping they chill soon. am going to try to convinced N to stay quiet at home today so i can relax & not do much. carting my boys around triggers TONS of contractions, & the suckers freaking hurt (the contrax, not the dudes!) & we're supposed to go to a wedding tonight. or at least the reception, we're skipping the wedding for reasons of comfort (as in, the pregannt woman cannot face an hour long drive to sit in a hard church pew right now).
& bc i can go off on a tangent, i'm going to-- the girl getting married is the 18yo daughter of some friends from church. now i happen to think 18 is kinda young to be married, but whatever, to each their own. i'm not going to knock them bc of their age. that said, when they registered (2 weeks ago!!) apparently they only registered for all the most expensive things at BB&B. now, we aren't rich & i seriously doubt any of their parent's friends or their own 18yo friends are very wealthy, so why on earth did they ask for $100 crock pots? or a $90 knife? (yup, ONE knife!) or a $400 pot & pan set? i know they need some things to get started & i would have liked to get them an actual gift, but good lord-- we can't afford that crap! there were NO reasonably priced gifts on the list. sigh. so we chalked the crazy registry up to inexperience & just got them a gift card. & i'm guessing that's what everyone did, since i went shopping yesterday, the wedding is today & there was NOTHING purchased off their registry. you'd think the parents would have takled some sense into the kids, but who knows. people are weird.
& that's all i have this early in the morning. if you're on my list to be texted, i promise (again) that if anythign exciting happens (like we really go into labor) you'll hear from me. :) enjoy the holiday weekend!
i *should* be taking advantage of my last weekend to sleep in, since N is home to get up with the boys but sleep is elusive this morning soi gave up at 5 & just got up.
for those interested: contrax continue so far this morning, but am hoping they chill soon. am going to try to convinced N to stay quiet at home today so i can relax & not do much. carting my boys around triggers TONS of contractions, & the suckers freaking hurt (the contrax, not the dudes!) & we're supposed to go to a wedding tonight. or at least the reception, we're skipping the wedding for reasons of comfort (as in, the pregannt woman cannot face an hour long drive to sit in a hard church pew right now).
& bc i can go off on a tangent, i'm going to-- the girl getting married is the 18yo daughter of some friends from church. now i happen to think 18 is kinda young to be married, but whatever, to each their own. i'm not going to knock them bc of their age. that said, when they registered (2 weeks ago!!) apparently they only registered for all the most expensive things at BB&B. now, we aren't rich & i seriously doubt any of their parent's friends or their own 18yo friends are very wealthy, so why on earth did they ask for $100 crock pots? or a $90 knife? (yup, ONE knife!) or a $400 pot & pan set? i know they need some things to get started & i would have liked to get them an actual gift, but good lord-- we can't afford that crap! there were NO reasonably priced gifts on the list. sigh. so we chalked the crazy registry up to inexperience & just got them a gift card. & i'm guessing that's what everyone did, since i went shopping yesterday, the wedding is today & there was NOTHING purchased off their registry. you'd think the parents would have takled some sense into the kids, but who knows. people are weird.
& that's all i have this early in the morning. if you're on my list to be texted, i promise (again) that if anythign exciting happens (like we really go into labor) you'll hear from me. :) enjoy the holiday weekend!
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
biggotry & fear
a preface: i believe with 100% of my being that gay people are just people. period. it matters to me about as much as someone's hair color, which is to say not at all. i believe they should have every right that a heterosexual person has, including the right to marriage & all the ensuing legal rights & responsibilities. if you feel otherwise, this is not a post for you.
some one very close to me came out recently & accidentally. this person ("B") was "discovered" due to some private correspondence that was left out, although i've *known* for years, without being told, as have many people close to B. B's parents took the news hard, mom bc she was heartbroken B couldn't share their whole self with her, & dad bc he's a very conservative man who struggles with change. the good in the situation is that now B can be exactly who they are without need to hide or pretend, & that B's parents, who i know well & who love their kids unconditionally, will become vehement gay-rights supporters & the best champions B could hope for. the sad in the situation is that B had to struggle & hide in the first place. it came out that B had contemplated suicicide & gone so far as to plan the place & time. hearing that tore at my heart. B is an amazingly talented, smart, engaging, funny person with so much to offer the world, & to think that we live in a world that would make that kind of person feel so badly about themselves that they wanted to die makes me sad & scared for my own children.
i've never understood why for so many people "different" automatically equals "wrong", & i understand even less why those people have to attack individuals who don't fit their notions of normal. bc among the people with whom i choose to surround myself things like race & gender & sexual orientation are non-issues, it becomes easy to forget the biggotry & prejudice that still run rampant in this country. hearing B's story was a close-to-home reminder of how brutal life still is for so many. i hope & pray that i will be able to impart to my own kids a strong enough sense of self & feeling of security that they will be able to live their lives openly as their whole selves, & that they learn compassion & a true sense of what is right & fair.
the world can be a cruel and scary place, especially if you aren't able to find the pockets of compassion & kindness.
some one very close to me came out recently & accidentally. this person ("B") was "discovered" due to some private correspondence that was left out, although i've *known* for years, without being told, as have many people close to B. B's parents took the news hard, mom bc she was heartbroken B couldn't share their whole self with her, & dad bc he's a very conservative man who struggles with change. the good in the situation is that now B can be exactly who they are without need to hide or pretend, & that B's parents, who i know well & who love their kids unconditionally, will become vehement gay-rights supporters & the best champions B could hope for. the sad in the situation is that B had to struggle & hide in the first place. it came out that B had contemplated suicicide & gone so far as to plan the place & time. hearing that tore at my heart. B is an amazingly talented, smart, engaging, funny person with so much to offer the world, & to think that we live in a world that would make that kind of person feel so badly about themselves that they wanted to die makes me sad & scared for my own children.
i've never understood why for so many people "different" automatically equals "wrong", & i understand even less why those people have to attack individuals who don't fit their notions of normal. bc among the people with whom i choose to surround myself things like race & gender & sexual orientation are non-issues, it becomes easy to forget the biggotry & prejudice that still run rampant in this country. hearing B's story was a close-to-home reminder of how brutal life still is for so many. i hope & pray that i will be able to impart to my own kids a strong enough sense of self & feeling of security that they will be able to live their lives openly as their whole selves, & that they learn compassion & a true sense of what is right & fair.
the world can be a cruel and scary place, especially if you aren't able to find the pockets of compassion & kindness.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
still baking
yup, 3 is just where we left the kid, despite torturing mom all night.
& i stand by my last post, even with the ridiculous lack of sleep & discomfort level. i mean, really-- what's the point of coming now? 3 might as well just hang out til the 1st!
& i stand by my last post, even with the ridiculous lack of sleep & discomfort level. i mean, really-- what's the point of coming now? 3 might as well just hang out til the 1st!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
6 days left!
tra la la!!
am now beginning to hope baby stays put until the 1st. i mean really, what's the point of coming early now? it's only a few more days to be miserable, & it would actually be kind of nice to have a planned, non-rushed, non-emergency birth. if all goes as planned, 1 week from today, i will be only an hour away from seeing 3 for the first time!
am now beginning to hope baby stays put until the 1st. i mean really, what's the point of coming early now? it's only a few more days to be miserable, & it would actually be kind of nice to have a planned, non-rushed, non-emergency birth. if all goes as planned, 1 week from today, i will be only an hour away from seeing 3 for the first time!
Monday, May 24, 2010
updates on the rest of life
GERD: it's back. not that it ever really left. but conrad is puking again, pretty regularly. his usual M.O. after a medicine switch is to be fine for a while, then progressively get worse & worse. i'm afraid we're on the downward slope again & i am very scared for him. i know if we can't get this under control it's striaght back to the surgeon & this is NOT a surgery that he could bounce back from quickly. i'm going to track everything that passes his lips & see if we can i.d. some triggers (no luck so far) & have cut out all fat from his evening meal & snack. i don't want to omit the high fat diet entirely, since if he starts losing weight again, or even not gaining, we're still headed back to the surgeon. healthy baby vibes are much needed & appreciated, if anyone has some to spare!
walking: conrad FINALLY took his first unassisted steps yesterday. i knew that when he started, it would be when he was certain he could do it all on his own & sure enough-- that's what happened. he'll only take a few at a time, bc he refuses to allow himself to fall, so he gracefully sinks to his knees when he knows he's losing it (unlike val, who just falls on his face & keeps on trucking). but he's walking & we're all so thrilled, especially his brother, who follows him around clapping-- it's super cute & conrad loves it. :)
3: is a stubborn child. i have been having steady & seriously uncomfortable contractions for several days now, but it's not "real" labor (altho it really feels like the early labor i had with the dudes) so other than being really annoying there's nothing new on that front. c-sec is still scheduled for the 1st (next tuesday) & i'm sure this little booger will just stay camped out until the 11th hour. whatever. baby will come when baby will come & in the meantime i'm just trying to stay busy & occupied so i don't dwell on how freaking uncomfortable i am. which is much easier to do when i'm not puking (thanks zo.fran!)
minivans: we're going hunting today. hopefully we'll find something decent & can bring it home. it's not crucial to have before 3 gets here, but it would be much easier to get done while dealing with only 2 kids instead of 3.
apologies: for the dull updates, but sometimes that's life!
walking: conrad FINALLY took his first unassisted steps yesterday. i knew that when he started, it would be when he was certain he could do it all on his own & sure enough-- that's what happened. he'll only take a few at a time, bc he refuses to allow himself to fall, so he gracefully sinks to his knees when he knows he's losing it (unlike val, who just falls on his face & keeps on trucking). but he's walking & we're all so thrilled, especially his brother, who follows him around clapping-- it's super cute & conrad loves it. :)
3: is a stubborn child. i have been having steady & seriously uncomfortable contractions for several days now, but it's not "real" labor (altho it really feels like the early labor i had with the dudes) so other than being really annoying there's nothing new on that front. c-sec is still scheduled for the 1st (next tuesday) & i'm sure this little booger will just stay camped out until the 11th hour. whatever. baby will come when baby will come & in the meantime i'm just trying to stay busy & occupied so i don't dwell on how freaking uncomfortable i am. which is much easier to do when i'm not puking (thanks zo.fran!)
minivans: we're going hunting today. hopefully we'll find something decent & can bring it home. it's not crucial to have before 3 gets here, but it would be much easier to get done while dealing with only 2 kids instead of 3.
apologies: for the dull updates, but sometimes that's life!
Saturday, May 22, 2010
touch a truck! & other updates
this morning my mom & i took the guys to "touch a truck" (a free local kiddie event where they bring out a bunch of cool trucks, police cars, school buses, ambulances, etc for kids to climb all over). & they LOVED it. there's just something about boys & machines...
here we are checking out a police car. it wasn't quite as cool as daddy's, but they still enjoyed it & the nice officer (who knew N) let val play with the radio, which is his favorite on N's uniform, so he was totally tickled & refused to give it up until they got him his own little police badge. (con got one too, & some stickers.) oh, & excuse the hideous tie-dyed t-shirt i'm wearing. i'm running out of decent maternity clothes that fit, so i don't want to hear any hippie comments!
the guys with gram, checking out a firetruck's ladder controls (i think). conrad thought the buttons were super cool & we had a hard time prying him away so other kids could see.
here we are checking out a police car. it wasn't quite as cool as daddy's, but they still enjoyed it & the nice officer (who knew N) let val play with the radio, which is his favorite on N's uniform, so he was totally tickled & refused to give it up until they got him his own little police badge. (con got one too, & some stickers.) oh, & excuse the hideous tie-dyed t-shirt i'm wearing. i'm running out of decent maternity clothes that fit, so i don't want to hear any hippie comments!
the guys with gram, checking out a firetruck's ladder controls (i think). conrad thought the buttons were super cool & we had a hard time prying him away so other kids could see.
val, next to a giant tire on a navy truck.
conrad, examining the grill on a school bus. he takes his fun very seriously.
& that's that. i found some zo.fran, & it turns out that when i'm not puking constantly i'm in a much better mood (go figure!) so i'm going to try to stay as busy as possible & see if i really can jump start labor... altho as you can see from my ticker-- NINE days left! wooooooo!!!!!
& that's that. i found some zo.fran, & it turns out that when i'm not puking constantly i'm in a much better mood (go figure!) so i'm going to try to stay as busy as possible & see if i really can jump start labor... altho as you can see from my ticker-- NINE days left! wooooooo!!!!!
for those who are interested in such things-- still having contrax, they still hurt, back ache still comes & goes with contrax, but they won't stay more consistant than at least 1 every half hour or so. yeah, we have bouts where its more intense, but it never lasts, so i'm still convincing myself we're going to wait another 9 days. or, we'll go into labor before the scheduled c-sec, but the night before or something equally ridiculous. :)
also- the observant among you may notice i'm not wearing my boot in the pics. yes, my foot is still broken, & yes, it still hurts, but the d*mn thing weighs a ton & it feels like i'm dragging a lead weight around, which is pretty much intolerable when you're this pregnant. so i've given up. i am so beyond caring about my stupid heel. i'm sure it's a decision i'll regret later, but again-- soooooo beyond caring right now & like i mentioned in an earlier post, i have decided to go with whatever brings me any small bit of happiness. so down with the boot!!
Friday, May 21, 2010
bye.
i think i need to avoid all human contact for a while, as i am veering wildly between happy zen mother, murderous raging psycho & sobbing soggy mess.
i'm going to gather my babies & retreat from the world. if & when i regain my sanity, i'll be back.
i'm going to gather my babies & retreat from the world. if & when i regain my sanity, i'll be back.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
forget everything
i said in my last post. i have to have this baby soon or i am going to lose my mind.
physically? i'm fine. emotionally? total wreck.
i think i'm going to spend the rest of the evening trying to regain my zen before i crack.
physically? i'm fine. emotionally? total wreck.
i think i'm going to spend the rest of the evening trying to regain my zen before i crack.
a new perspective
after a fairly sleepless & cranky night (on my part, not the guys-- they slept from 730pm til 8am!!) i woke up in a surprisingly cheerful mood, & decided to spend the morning outside with my goobers. amazing the change a little sunshine can bring.
i'm still all contract-y & uncomfortable, but i have decided all the minor chaos going on with my uterus lately is just some kind of annoying pre-labor & not a lead up to the real thing. (or its a loooong lead up, since obviously labor at some point becomes inevitable.) that said, my new prediction is that 3 will stay put until the 1st & our scheduled birthday, albiet with lots of contractions & backaches & other fun (i.e. miesrable) activities in the meantime. so since i'm going to be pregnant for another 11 days, (i'm not counting the 1st itself, since that's b-day), i might as well make the best of it.
so i am going to endevour to embrace the discomfort. i will hang out with con & val, wear pajamas every day & eat nothing but ice cream if that's what i feel like doing. i will play in the garden, chase caterpillars with the boys, build giant towers of blocks & read goodnight moon as many times as it's handed to me. i will remind myself that the sleeplessness is temporary, & soon enough i will have another small person to keep me company (& keep me awake) latenight. i will tell myself daily that i have not yet gone into labor bc 3 is not yet ready to arrive, & every extra day spent curled up cozy inside means we will take home a chubbier, healthier baby. i will remind myself of all the kind & loving things my husband has done over the years, so that i do not attempt to kill him in a psycho pregnant frenzy.
in short, i am going to ignore the contractions and enjoy my boys, even when they're screaming & fussy beyond belief, bc these are the last few days we will have as a family of 4 & i am determined NOT to go crazy until i am officially a mother of 3 kids under 2.
i'm still all contract-y & uncomfortable, but i have decided all the minor chaos going on with my uterus lately is just some kind of annoying pre-labor & not a lead up to the real thing. (or its a loooong lead up, since obviously labor at some point becomes inevitable.) that said, my new prediction is that 3 will stay put until the 1st & our scheduled birthday, albiet with lots of contractions & backaches & other fun (i.e. miesrable) activities in the meantime. so since i'm going to be pregnant for another 11 days, (i'm not counting the 1st itself, since that's b-day), i might as well make the best of it.
so i am going to endevour to embrace the discomfort. i will hang out with con & val, wear pajamas every day & eat nothing but ice cream if that's what i feel like doing. i will play in the garden, chase caterpillars with the boys, build giant towers of blocks & read goodnight moon as many times as it's handed to me. i will remind myself that the sleeplessness is temporary, & soon enough i will have another small person to keep me company (& keep me awake) latenight. i will tell myself daily that i have not yet gone into labor bc 3 is not yet ready to arrive, & every extra day spent curled up cozy inside means we will take home a chubbier, healthier baby. i will remind myself of all the kind & loving things my husband has done over the years, so that i do not attempt to kill him in a psycho pregnant frenzy.
in short, i am going to ignore the contractions and enjoy my boys, even when they're screaming & fussy beyond belief, bc these are the last few days we will have as a family of 4 & i am determined NOT to go crazy until i am officially a mother of 3 kids under 2.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
perogis, part II
in response to questions:
perogis are kind of like a polish dumpling. they're little dough pockets stuffed with filling, usually potato or cheese, altho i usually do mine with saurkraut, bacon & sour cream, per N's preference.
yup, they are completely from scratch & one of the few polish dishes i really do well (if i do say so myself). they are a HUGE pain to make, but i always make a huge batch & freeze them (which is why i made them now, so we can have them to munch on after 3 gets here.)
N is really good about eating all my spicy armenian/lebanese cooking, so i learned how to do his grandma's (aka busia's) kapusta & perogis so i can give the poor polock a treat on occasion.
next on my list of cooking to freeze is a giant batch of pasties (they're a northen michigan thing) but they'll be happening tomorrow, as i need a break after the perogi marathon!
oh-- if where i am was just a bit closer to hamtramck, we would totally hit up the polish shops for N... maybe this summer i'll drag him out there anyways so he can have a taste of home :)
perogis are kind of like a polish dumpling. they're little dough pockets stuffed with filling, usually potato or cheese, altho i usually do mine with saurkraut, bacon & sour cream, per N's preference.
yup, they are completely from scratch & one of the few polish dishes i really do well (if i do say so myself). they are a HUGE pain to make, but i always make a huge batch & freeze them (which is why i made them now, so we can have them to munch on after 3 gets here.)
N is really good about eating all my spicy armenian/lebanese cooking, so i learned how to do his grandma's (aka busia's) kapusta & perogis so i can give the poor polock a treat on occasion.
next on my list of cooking to freeze is a giant batch of pasties (they're a northen michigan thing) but they'll be happening tomorrow, as i need a break after the perogi marathon!
oh-- if where i am was just a bit closer to hamtramck, we would totally hit up the polish shops for N... maybe this summer i'll drag him out there anyways so he can have a taste of home :)
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
everyone is sick, & i am going to be pregnant forever.
sound dramatic? sorry, i'm a bit punchy.
conrad woke up at 5 with a ridiculous fever, i got it down to 100 ish with ty.lenol (generic), but have been unable to put him down all day, which is rough bc val is still sick too (altho not quite as sick as his bro.) took the guys to the doc, & its a virus, so there's nothing we can do but tylen.ol, etc. except-- conrad has lost a half pound in just a few days. not a huge deal for a kid not fighting GERD & weight loss on a good day, but for con it's bad news & if we can't get him eating/drinking again ASAP we're in trouble (doc's words & i am so determined to get him eating i didn't even ask what "trouble" meant.) so i got ice cream & pudding & avocados & other delicious treats (his favs) in an attempt to get him to eat. no luck so far, but he is drinking a little again & i'm hoping when he wakes he'll be up for a little munching. val, on the other hand, has decided that as long as i'm going to feed him ice cream, he'll eat again. not as much as usual, but at least he's eating.
oh & N is getting sick now too.
& i am recovering from my sick, but still having random bouts of nausea (pg related i'm sure) & contrax all day, that won't get regular enough for me to think i'm in labor, but are regular enough to make me super uncomfortable & miserable, & keep me awake for the better part of the night. & once i'm alseep, it's pretty much a guarantee that a poor little sicky will wake up & need mama. i don't begrudge the boys the time, but i could really do without the uselses contractions.
so, according to murphy's law & our good luck, i will either be super contract-y & miserable until june, left to care for all these sickies by my 9-mo. pregnant lonesome, OR i will go into labor like, tomorrow, while everyone is horribly sick, so that i'll be bringing a new baby home to a cess-pool of germs & a daddy unable to help.
p.s. on ta.bitha's salon ta.keover that's on in rerun right now (crappy show, i know....) you can see my old apartment in boystown in chi..cago i don't miss much of chi, but i did love that apartment....
conrad woke up at 5 with a ridiculous fever, i got it down to 100 ish with ty.lenol (generic), but have been unable to put him down all day, which is rough bc val is still sick too (altho not quite as sick as his bro.) took the guys to the doc, & its a virus, so there's nothing we can do but tylen.ol, etc. except-- conrad has lost a half pound in just a few days. not a huge deal for a kid not fighting GERD & weight loss on a good day, but for con it's bad news & if we can't get him eating/drinking again ASAP we're in trouble (doc's words & i am so determined to get him eating i didn't even ask what "trouble" meant.) so i got ice cream & pudding & avocados & other delicious treats (his favs) in an attempt to get him to eat. no luck so far, but he is drinking a little again & i'm hoping when he wakes he'll be up for a little munching. val, on the other hand, has decided that as long as i'm going to feed him ice cream, he'll eat again. not as much as usual, but at least he's eating.
oh & N is getting sick now too.
& i am recovering from my sick, but still having random bouts of nausea (pg related i'm sure) & contrax all day, that won't get regular enough for me to think i'm in labor, but are regular enough to make me super uncomfortable & miserable, & keep me awake for the better part of the night. & once i'm alseep, it's pretty much a guarantee that a poor little sicky will wake up & need mama. i don't begrudge the boys the time, but i could really do without the uselses contractions.
so, according to murphy's law & our good luck, i will either be super contract-y & miserable until june, left to care for all these sickies by my 9-mo. pregnant lonesome, OR i will go into labor like, tomorrow, while everyone is horribly sick, so that i'll be bringing a new baby home to a cess-pool of germs & a daddy unable to help.
p.s. on ta.bitha's salon ta.keover that's on in rerun right now (crappy show, i know....) you can see my old apartment in boystown in chi..cago i don't miss much of chi, but i did love that apartment....
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